This week our writing task was on what would happen if our soft toys came to life so here is my writing. I hope you like it and leave me a comment on how I can improve.
What wonderful story! You have painted a picture in my mind by the use of your vocabulary and emotive words. My favourite line was - "watch while knowing in their gut that they aren’t loved at all". You are starting to create a "mood" to your stories.
What are you planning to do next? I wonder if you can create an instructions on how to use emotive words.
That was really cool! Some of those descriptions I was thinking.. Oh no, that’s the teddy in the box in the garage that I haven’t opened. He’s probably feeling neglected right now.
Could you have given the soft toys names maybe? You know how everyone has a Mr Bear or Scruffy or Spotty? Then maybe it would be a little more personal? Like, hey.. these are actually Priscilla’s toys that she loves/once loved or a plot twist, whichever is easier!
Kia ora Priscilla,
ReplyDeleteWhat wonderful story! You have painted a picture in my mind by the use of your vocabulary and emotive words. My favourite line was - "watch while knowing in their gut that they aren’t loved at all". You are starting to create a "mood" to your stories.
What are you planning to do next? I wonder if you can create an instructions on how to use emotive words.
Looking forward to future blog posts,
Miss Laxa
Hi Miss Laxa thank you for the comment and the nice feedback you've given.
DeleteHey Priscilla..
ReplyDeleteThat was really cool! Some of those descriptions I was thinking.. Oh no, that’s the teddy in the box in the garage that I haven’t opened. He’s probably feeling neglected right now.
Could you have given the soft toys names maybe? You know how everyone has a Mr Bear or Scruffy or Spotty? Then maybe it would be a little more personal? Like, hey.. these are actually Priscilla’s toys that she loves/once loved or a plot twist, whichever is easier!
Keep it up tho!
Happy blogging
Hi Marleen thanks for the comment and feedback I will try work on it.
DeleteThis has great potential to be a horror story! Next time you should make the soft toys evil.
ReplyDeletenot all stories are what you want them to be
Delete